Scratch
by phelipa
Summary: Addison agreed to move back to New York with Mark. As Christmas approaches, she makes an unexpected discovery
1. Prologue: Christmas Song

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or its characters.

Rating: T

Summary: Addison moved back to New York with Mark when he asked her at the beginning of season 3. Now, close to Christmas Addison makes a dreaded discover.

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Scratch

Prologue: Christmas Song

_Father up above  
Why in all this hatred do you fill me up with love, fill me love, love, yeah  
Love, love, love  
Love, love, and the blood of our children all around._

_- Dave Matthews Band_

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"_Addison, Come home with me." Mark said, staring her hard in the eye._

_She shied away from his gaze, "Mark, I don't know…I…"_

"Addison, please. Think about it, things are over with you and Derek. You can't fix it, why stay?"

_She had to admit he had a strong argument, but still. She didn't want to leave her practice, her patients, her non existent friends…_

_Suddenly she ran out of reasons why she should stay and reasons to go came flooding in, her old friends, her respect and her practice, Mark…_

_Hesitantly she said, "Ok…I'll do it, but only for a month or so. Then I'll decide permanently."_

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Sitting in the back pew of the Church, she stared out the window watching snow fall softly. The choir was singing O Holy night and she closed her eyes, letting the music drift over her and soothe her soul.

The month had come and gone and yet she was still in New York, still without a decision. She had moved in with Mark and started her practice again; she had gotten in touch with her friends and sort of settled into a new routine when she'd been shocked yet again.

She opened her eyes again and watched as the Pastor rose to the pulpit, beginning his Christmas sermon. She listened intently to the story and watched as others around her teared up, thinking about Christmas memories and family. She refused, no tears on Christmas, Christmas was supposed to be one of the best days of the year.

The congregation was asked to rise and thin white candles were passed around. Addison took one and waited to light hers. The people in front of her turned and lit her candle, wishing her a merry Christmas as they did so. She smiled and nodded but as the turned around her let her face fall again.

Suddenly the lights dimmed, sending them almost into complete darkness and the music started up again. This time it was Silent Night, one of Addison's favorite Christmas carols.

She watched as a heavenly glow lit up the area around her and felt a sense of peace come over her body. She managed a small smile as the song came to a close and everyone blew the candles out. As the lights came on again she noticed a body next to hers. Mark wrapped his arms around her shoulders and squeezed tightly,

"I thought I'd find you here." He murmured softly.

She didn't say anything as he kissed her check. She merely handed in her candle and began to get ready to leave.

"Addi?" He asked, beginning to become concerned, "Add, what is it?"

She struggled to put on her coat and slipped her purse over her shoulder. She turned to leave and said,

"I'm pregnant, Merry Christmas."

And with that she left.

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_A/N: Ok, so this was sort of the introduction…just beginning. Tell me what you think!_


	2. Chapter 1: Can't Let Go

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or its characters.

Rating: T

Summary: Addison moved back to New York with Mark when he asked her at the beginning of season 3. Now, close to Christmas Addison makes a dreaded discover.

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Scratch

Chapter 1: Can't Let Go

_Well I cant let go  
No, I cant let go of you  
Youre holding me back without even trying to.  
I cant let go  
I cant move on from the past  
Without lifting a finger youre holding me back_.

_- Landon Pigg_

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Addison didn't wait for a reply as she walked briskly out into the cold. He took off after her shouting,

"Addison, Addi! Wait!"

She didn't look back as she climbed into her car, started it and pulled out of the parking lot quickly.

Mark swore loudly as he watched her drive away and climbed into his own car. He didn't have to watch the direction her car was headed to determine where she was going. He knew where she'd end up.

It took almost ten minutes to get there and when he got there he pulled into the driveway quickly and got out of the car. He jogged up the front steps and pushed the door of Addison and Derek's old house open.

He found her sitting on the steps with her head in her hands. He approached quietly and sat down, slipping his hand around her shoulder,

"Come on Addi, we can do this. I mean, you're 34 and I'm 35, we can handle a baby."

She looked up at him with a look of disbelief, "It's not your baby Mark…it's Derek's."

He dropped her shoulder just as fast as he'd taken it, "What?"

"Come on Mark, we've only been together a month.'

"So it still could…? Ok, we'll take this one step at a time. Are you sure you're pregnant?"

"Well, when the stick turns pink it's a pretty good…"

He interrupted her, "They can be wrong."

She sat in silence as he waited for a reply.

"You want this baby don't you?" He questioned suddenly, as though he hadn't considered that proposal before.

"Mark, I'm almost 35 I'm not getting any younger here. This may be my only chance at having a happy, healthy baby."

He was nodding, "Ok…"

"I need to take another test." She murmured, "I need to make sure."

He slipped his hands around hers and squeezed before pulling her to her feet, "Come on,

We'll get you another test. There's bound to be a drug store open somewhere around here."

She nodded briskly and followed him out, locking the door to the old house behind her.

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It took them almost 30 minutes to find a drug store that was still open on Christmas Eve. When they did Addison refused to let Mark go in for her, and darted in to purchase a two pack of pregnancy tests.

When she climbed back into the car she dropped them on the floor and sat in silence while Mark drove home. It seemed to take hours to get home when in reality it was only about ten minutes.

As they pulled up in front of the house she reclaimed her bag and followed Mark into his house. Before he could say anything she went up to their bedroom with the adjoining bath and locked herself in the latter.

Mark sat on the bed and waited impatiently for her to reemerge. After only a few minutes she did and sat next to him on the bed.

"So?" He enquired.

"We have to wait five minutes." She said, tapping her knee anxiously.

She rose and paced back and forth, chewing on a nail. She never chewed her nails; it was an old habit she'd managed to quash a long time ago.

"Addi, stop." He said, reaching up and removing her hand from her mouth.

"How long?" She asked.

He looked at his watch, "1 minute, 34 seconds to go."

She nodded quickly and resumed pacing. The minute passed slowly, but finally Mark said,

"Ok, go."

She practically knocked the door off its hinges trying to get into the bathroom as quickly as possible. When she came out she was carrying the test, refusing to look at it.

"You tell me." She said, handing the test to him.

He took it awkwardly, not quite enthusiastic about holding pee on a stick. He looked at it and his face became puzzled,

"What am I looking for?"

Addison snatched the test away from his and looked at it for a moment before a smile began to tug on her lips.

"Well? What is it?" Mark demanded.

"It's positive…I'm having a baby…" The thought played on her a moment and she began to feel a little shaky.

Mark noticed and immediately took her arms, guiding her to the bed,

"Here, sit down a minute."

He got her a glass of water and handed it to her. She took a long sip and waited until her hands stopped trembling to say,

"Well, how's that for a Christmas surprise."

Mark sat down next to her and took her hand, squeezing it gently, "How you doing? Are you ok with this?"

She took a long time before nodding, "But let's forget about it for now, it's Christmas Eve."

He gave her a strange look before nodding. "Ok."

She changed into a pair of warm pajamas and went to wait for him downstairs. When he came into the living room he handed her a mug of hot chocolate and a blanket then went to turn on the Christmas tree.

Addison sighed deeply as the Christmas tree lit up the room, flashing lights across all corners. Mark settled down next to her and turned on a Christmas CD.

He slipped his arm around her shoulder and she curled up into his body.

"So when are you going to tell Derek then?"

Addison shot Mark a deadly look, "We're not discussing this. Remember?"

"Yeah, yeah." He said, kissing the top of her head, but he let the subject go. She would talk about it when she was ready.

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Mark woke again the following morning as Addison left the bed and ran to the bathroom, hand clamped over her mouth. Mark sighed a little but slid over the side of the bed and into the bathroom.

He wrapped his hand around her hair, pulling it away from her face, and rubbed her back gently until she'd finished being sick. She sank down against the wall and he handed her a glass of water.

"Well at least we know why you've been sick. How many times has it been this morning?" He asked, rubbing his temples.

"Four." Addison croaked, taking a sip of water, "But it could be anything, food poisoning, the flu…"

"…pregnancy?" Mark shot. 

She glared at him, "Still not talking about it."

He sighed, "Addison, we're going to your mother's this afternoon. Are you really not going to talk about it? You're not going to tell her?"

Addison pulled her knees to her chest and leaned her head down, burying her face,

"I don't know."

He took her hands and pulled her up from her position on the floor, "Come on Addi. I'll make you some tea and we'll see if it settles your stomach. Then we can do Christmas."

She followed him wearily and sat at the kitchen table as he prepared her an herbal tea. He handed it to her and sat down across from her. She gingerly took a sip and leaned back in her chair,

"This isn't quite how I imagined Christmas would be." She said softly.

"I know." Mark said, trying to soothe her, "But just think, next year you'll have a baby to do this with."

Addison couldn't help but smile, "That will be weird."

Mark rose from his spot, "Come on, let's open gifts before you have to throw up again."

Addison chuckled and allowed him to lead her to their Christmas tree. She sat down on the couch and tucked her legs up beneath her.

He rustled under the tree for a moment before pulling out several boxes with her name on them. Handing them to her, he accepted the kiss and "Merry Christmas" she offered him.

She slipped her fingers carefully under the tape and slid the box open to reveal the new pair of Jimmy Choo's she'd been drooling over just weeks earlier.

"Oh Mark." She breathed as she slipped them on, "They're gorgeous."

She took a moment to admire them before ripping open her other gifts: new pajamas and a silk blue housecoat, a Crabtree and Evelyn bath set, a set of diamond earrings and a new pair of navy blue scrubs. Finally she unwrapped the last large box.

She gasped slightly as she pulled back the tissue paper to reveal a soft cream, wool Prada jacket. She pulled it from the box and slipped it over her pajamas. It fell just above her knees and cinched nicely at the waist to emphasize her hourglass figure.

Mark smiled as he watched her reaction, "Now I guess it won't fit for long. But I couldn't very well return it last night. A little more notice would have been needed…"

She smirked, "I wouldn't have let you take this back anyways."

He chuckled as she continued, "Besides, I won't be showing for another few months so until then I'll wear it. After that, I just won't do it up."

She removed the coat and laid it among her other presents and pulled out Mark's packages. She watched as he opened them and grinned at his reactions. There was the scotch she knew he loved, and a new pair of shoes. As he finished opening those she stood up,

"The next one, you need to go downstairs to see."

He followed her to the steps and into the basement of the house. She flicked on the lights to reveal his second present, a pool table. He simply stood in awe for a moment before turning around and kissing her,

"Thank you!" He managed to stutter as he went over to it.

"Now, I don't play pool. You'll have to invite some of your guy friends over. Actually, Katie plays pool…she could kick your ass in pool!"

Mark shot her an evil look, "Could not."

Addison shrugged, "I guess we'll find out. They're coming over for New Years Eve."

Addison managed to tear him away from the table long enough to pack an overnight bag for their trip to her mother's. As soon as he'd finished however, he returned to the table to admire it.

Addison remained in their bedroom after she'd finished packing. She went into their bathroom and slipped her top over her head so she was only in a bra. She stood so her profile was visible in the mirror and touched her stomach gingerly. She didn't look any different; her stomach was still flat as always. But she felt different. Not in a physical kind of way but a mental kind of way.

As she heard Mark coming up the stairs she quickly slipped her shirt over her head and returned to their room to close up the bags. He smiled and slipped his arms around her waist.

"Ready to go?" He asked.

She nodded and turned around to kiss him gently on the lips, "Thank you for the wonderful Christmas."

He shrugged, "Yeah, I do what I can."

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**TBC…**


	3. Chapter 2: Family Affair

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or its characters.

Rating: T

Summary: Addison moved back to New York with Mark when he asked her at the beginning of season 3. Now, close to Christmas Addison makes a dreaded discover.

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Scratch

Chapter 2: Family Affair

_Don't take it away from me  
Don't take away the one love that matters.  
And I'll get well you'll see.  
You're all I have, you're my family. _

_- Abra Moore_

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Mark looked down at his shoulder and grinned. Addison had fallen asleep almost as soon as they'd gotten into the car. It was a weird habit of hers. Mark personally thought that she did it to avoid driving, to make him do all the work.

Well, he'd gotten her back for it.

She shifted slightly and yawned on his shoulder, readjusting herself. He watched as her hand drifted to her abdomen and rested there. He smiled softly and turned his eyes back to the road, she'd be a great mother.

He turned the radio on quietly and hummed along softly as they drove down the countryside road to Addison's parents place.

After nearly a half hour Addison shifted again and finally woke. She stretched slightly and yawned again. She removed her jacket and reached for the air conditioning, flicking it on.

Mark reached over and flicked it off, "I'm cold."

She shrugged and turned it back on, "Pregnant, pregnant trumps cold. I win."

He grumbled, but pulled on his gloves and let her be. She pulled out her purse and grabbed a lipstick, pulling out a compact mirror and setting it in front of herself.

"Mark!" She shrieked, as she looked at herself in the mirror.

He snickered as she turned around and hit him hard on the shoulder,

"I could kill you! Not even kidding! This is so not funny…" she moaned.

"I dunno, I thought it was pretty funny." He said.

She turned to face him and he began to laugh again. He'd drawn a moustache and beard on with a pen while she'd been sleeping; he thought it was pretty witty.

"What the hell is that matter with you!? How old are you, two?" She demanded.

She reached in her bag and pulled out a washcloth and a water bottle. She wet the cloth and began scrubbing at her chin.

"Not funny at all, we're going to visit my parents! You are so not getting any for like…a month!"

He turned around in all seriousness and said, "Hey…I happen to find you very sexy with facial hair."

She hit him again on the shoulder and muttered something about a gun. She looked back in the mirror and moaned,

"Mark…it's not coming off."

This set him into another fit of laughter. Addison looked up at the road signs and began to panic slightly,

"We're like twenty minutes away…oh dammit."

She scrubbed harder but the pen refused to come off. After ten minutes she gave up, throwing both the water bottle and soggy cloth away in a huff. She sat back in her seat and pouted as Mark tried to contain himself.

Gravel crunched under the tires as they pulled up in front of Addison's parents' house. She shot Mark an evil look as she climbed out of the car and pulled her scarf up around her face.

"You get the bags." She commanded, darting into the house and straight to the bathroom.

Mark followed her in a few moments later with the bags and deposited them on the floor to greet her parents.

"Maggie, nice to see you again." He said, hugging the tall redhead who could only be Addison's mother.

She hugged back and said, "Good to see you too Mark."

"Walter." He said, shaking her father's hand.

He nodded back and Mark removed his hand to take off his coat. Addison reemerged from the bathroom and looked at Mark who discretely lifted a thumb to the side of his face, indicating there was still some pen. She scrubbed at it furiously and he nodded his assurance that it was no longer there.

She smiled and came up to her mother.

"Addison!" He mother raved, pulling her into a tight embrace, "We missed you."

"I missed you too mum." Addison said before moving on to her father.

"Hey Daddy."

He smiled and kissed her cheek, "Hey sweetheart."

She pulled away, "Are the boys here yet?"

"Will and Brooke are here. We're still waiting on Matt and Hannah."

"So that means that…" Sure enough, just as Addison was about to ask if her nieces and nephews were there, the pitter patter of tiny feet came rushing down the hall.

"Aunt Addi!" They bellowed as a single voice.

She attempted to scoop the two wild children up in her arms all at once.

"How are you guys?"

They all squealed, attempting to tell her about their respective Christmas. She was a little overwhelmed until a saving voice swooped in.

"Noah, Mia, calm down. You can tell her later."

Addison rose from her crouched position on the floor to greet her brother. William hugged her tightly,

"How are you Addi?" He asked.

"Not bad and yourself?"

"I'm just fine."

Looking at the crook of his arm she said,

"Alright, give her to me!"

He took the baby from his arm and placed her in Addison's. She turned back to her sister in law and hugged her as well,

"Good to see you again Brooke!"

The young blonde returned the compliment.

Addison looked down at her niece and said, "Wow, is she ever fair."

Brooke nodded, "I know. We were very surprised."

"How old is she now?"

"Almost two months."

Addison smiled down at the baby and turned back to Mark,

"I'm sure you guys remember Mark, he's been helping me out for the past few months." 

He shook hands with her brother and hugged Brooke before they all headed into the living room. He hung back with Addison and hissed,

"Why don't they hate me?"

She chuckled, "You're the lesser of two evils. I cheated on Derek with you; he cheated on me with Meredith. They like you."

He laughed and followed Addison into the living room, sitting next to her on the couch. She shifted for a moment then said,

"Here, take Olivia for me for a minute."

He took the baby uncomfortably as she rearranged herself, and then took the baby back. They chatted and shared small talk while they waited for Matt and Hannah to show up for dinner.

At nearly five thirty Addison's second brother showed up with his Fiancé. Greetings were exchanged and finally it was time to sit down for dinner.

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As dinner finished and the dishes were cleaned and put away, the family settled in the living room again. Mark sat on one end of the couch and Addison laid her head in his lap, sprawling out over the remainder of the couch.

He stoked her hair gently and she sighed deeply. Mia, who was four and Noah, who was six were curled up on the floor with blankets and pillows. They were both fast asleep. Baby Olivia was also sleeping soundly, curled up in her mother's arms.

Addison smiled softly and rubbed a hand over her own stomach, knowing she would have one of those tiny creatures in a few months.

He father rose and started a fire in the hearth at the front of the room. The room became warm quickly and Addison shifted her position so she was leaning on Mark's shoulder.

"You think I should tell them?" She whispered softly in his ear.

He turned and kissed her quickly before whispering, "Yes."

At that moment her mother left the room. Seeing the opportunity, she followed her into the kitchen. She watched her mother pull out coffee mugs and put on the kettle before saying,

"Mum? Can I talk to you?"

He mother turned around and smiled, "Of course Addison."

"Why don't you sit down?"

Her mother sat at the table and Addison sat down across from her, "Mark and I just found something out a couple days ago."

"Ok."

"I'm pregnant." She held her breath waiting for her mother's reaction.

"Oh Addi…" She breathed, rising from the table. She didn't say anything more, but enveloped her daughter in a tight hug.

When she released her she was grinning uncontrollably. Addison began to smile as well, he mother's enthusiasm was contagious. But before she could get too excited she said,

"Mum, there's more."

Her mother looked up, "What is it?"

"The baby's Derek's."

She stiffened slightly, "Have you told him?"

Addison shook her head, "No, I'm not really planning on it either. I mean, we just finalized the divorce a month ago. I don't know if I want him involved."

Her mother gave her a sad smile and took her hand, squeezing it, "I'm sure whatever you do, it'll be the right choice."

"Thanks mum."

The kettle wailed and her mother went to pour tea,

"By the way, I wouldn't tell your father about Derek just yet. Wait to see what happens."

Addison nodded and helped her mother carry the tea back into the living room. When everyone had settled again, she rose and made her announcement. It was greeted with congratulations and hugs all around.

As everyone settled back into their seats, Addison curled up against Mark again. He slipped his arm around her waist and planted a kiss on her forehead. She looked up and kissed him before laying her head back down on his shoulder.

She must have fallen asleep because when she woke the next morning they were in the guest room at her parents' house. She grinned at the sight of Mark sleeping before lifting his arm up and slipping her body beneath it.

All in all, she had to admit, it had been a better Christmas than she'd expected.

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**TBC…**

**AN: Hmmm…this is a lot fluffier than I expected it to be…hopefully it gets better but right now Addi and Mark are just all over each other. I can't seem to help myself…sorry about that!**


	4. Chapter 3: Wonderful Tonight

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or its characters.

Rating: T

Summary: Addison moved back to New York with Mark when he asked her at the beginning of season 3. Now, close to Christmas Addison makes a dreaded discover.

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Scratch

Chapter 3: Wonderful Tonight

_We go to a party and everyone turns to see  
This beautiful lady that's walking around with me.  
And then she asks me, "Do you feel all right?"  
And I say, "Yes, I feel wonderful tonight."_

_-Eric Clapton_

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As New Years Eve began to approach quickly, Addison began to panic.

"Mark, tell me why I booked my first OB/GYN appointment for the day of New Years Eve?"

He sighed and repeated the answer he'd given the last four times she'd asked, "It was the first appointment they had with the only doctor you said you'd see."

"Right..." She said, searching through the cupboards for her green and silver tablecloth.

"And if you don't hurry, you're going to be late for the said appointment." He droned.

"Dammit. You keep looking for the tablecloth and champagne flutes while I go change."

"Sure." He said as she darted up the stairs to their bedroom.

He located both items in a matter of minutes and laid them on the table. Why they even needed a tablecloth he didn't know. They were making appetizers, not a full course meal. But he knew better than to interfere with Addison's careful planning.

She returned in about ten minutes, pulling on the cream jacket he'd given her for Christmas.

"Ok, ready to go."

He grabbed his keys and followed her out the door, locking it behind him. The drive took only a few minutes and they arrived there in record time.

Addison exited the car and Mark took her hand, walking her into the clinic. Addison checked in with the nurse at the front before sitting next to Mark in the waiting room. She leafed through a magazine and hummed softly as she waited.

When the nurse finally called her name she and Mark followed her into one of the exam rooms. The nurse handed Addison a hospital gown and instructed her to change into the gown, and then sit up in the gurney with her feet in the stirrups. As she left Addison stripped and changed into the flimsy hospital gown.

She seated herself up in the stirrups and the nurse came back in, draping blue sheets over her bare legs. As she left, Addison shifted uncomfortably,

"Well, this is certainly one of the most awkward positions I've ever been in."

Mark chuckled and squeezed her hand.

A few minutes later Dr. Locke, one of Addison's former Attendings, entered,

"Addison, good to see you. To be honest I never thought I'd see you here!"

Addison chuckled, "Neither did I."

Dr. Locke, made small talk as she prepared for the exam,

"So how's you're practice going?"

Addison nodded, "Pretty good."

"That's great…alright, we can get started here."

Addison winced at the doctor did the internal, but didn't say anything. Mark notice and brushed his thumb across her cheek.

"You're doing great."

She looked over at him and gave a small smile, "Thanks."

As Dr. Locke finished she discarded her rubber gloves and leaned back in her chair, scribbling in Addison's file.

"Good, everything seems to be in order. You're about two and a half months along."

Addison glanced over at Mark and saw his face fall; his last hope of being the baby's father had been dashed in those words.

"Did you drink the six cups of water this morning?" Dr. Locke asked Addison.

She nodded, "Yeah, and if we could get through the ultrasound quickly that'd be great, I really have to pee."

The doctor chuckled and pulled the ultrasound machine away from the wall. As she spread the cool gel over Addison's stomach she said,

"I skipped the cold gel lecture, figured you knew it off by heart."

Addison nodded, "You got that right."

Dr. Locke pulled out the wand and turned on the machine, pressing the knob against Addison's abdomen. She moaned softly,

"You know, this whole pressing into my bladder thing…not good."

The doctor chuckled, "It'll be a few more minutes, we just need to find the baby."

She pressed down on Addison's stomach for a couple minutes before saying,

"Alright, there it is."

She flicked on the volume and a strong thumping resonated in the room. Addison leaned forward and stared at the screen. There was a tiny, moving, peanut thing in the middle of the screen.

"Wow." She breathed, "That's amazing…that's my baby?"

The doctor nodded, "That's it."

Addison lay back on the bed and closed her eyes, letting the sound of her baby's heartbeat envelop her like a blanket. When she opened her eyes, even Mark looked a little teary.

Dr. Locke turned off the machine and handed Addison a towel to wipe her stomach off with.

"I'll go develop some prints and a recording of the ultrasound, the bathroom's down the hall on your left. You can change into your regular clothes as well."

Addison did so quickly and returned to the exam room. She sat in a second chair, next to Mark's and kissed his cheek. Then she whispered,

"I'm sorry."

He looked at her for a moment, "For what?"

"That the baby's not yours."

He smiled ruefully, "We both knew all along it wasn't."

She nodded and gave his hand a firm squeeze as the doctor entered again. She gave Addison some pamphlets and the readings from the ultrasound.

"I'd like to see you two again in about a month. Other than that, give me a call with any problems. Good luck."

Addison thanked Dr. Locke and slipped into her coat again. Mark walked beside her and asked,

"Alright…now that that's done, you ready for tonight?"

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Addison leaned in towards the mirror and smoothed lipstick over her bottom lip. She ran a perfectly manicured finger through her straight hair before adding more eyeliner. She slipped her new diamond earrings in and added a diamond necklace to match.

She exited the bathroom and found her dress. She shed her old clothes and slipped into the slinky, marine blue, strapless dress. She gasped a little as she fought with the zipper, struggling to zip up the impossibly tight dress.

As a final touch, she pulled her hair up into a fancy twist and tightened it at the back of her neck, then stepped into her new jimmy choos.

She stood in front of the full length mirror in their room and assessed her appearance. Deeming it good, she left the bedroom in search of Mark. She found him in the kitchen pulling various alcohols out of the cupboards and setting them out on their bar.

Snatching a martini olive she popped it in her mouth and said,

"There better be something there for me mister."

He turned and his face softened into a smile as he saw her. Slipping his arm around her waist he pulled her in closely,

"You're gorgeous."

She kissed him hard on the lips, "I know."

He pulled her to the open area in the kitchen and swayed softly as music played quietly in the background. She slid her arms around his body and rested her head on his shoulder. He too had dressed up, black dress slacks and a crisp button down shirt. He smelled amazing too.

Addison sighed and said, "If I wasn't afraid of screwing up my hair or makeup, I'd jump you right now."

Mark laughed, "What happened to no sex for a month?"

She gave him a sly smile, "Not going to happen."

The doorbell rang, interrupting their moment and Addison left to get the door,

"When I come back, there better be a fake alcoholic drink ready for me."

Mark chuckled and called, "No problem."

Addison pulled the door open and her face broke into a smile as she let her closest friend, Katie Jacobs and her husband, Tim in. She hugged Katie tightly and said,

"Wow, it's been too long."

Katie smiled, "That's for sure."

Addison greeted Tim and took both their coats, then ushered Tim to where Mark was before talking with Katie.

"How've you been?" Addison asked.

"Not too bad." She said.

"Here, sit." Addison said, leading her to the couch, "I'll be back with drinks."

She returned in a few minutes with two virgin daiquiris. Katie took the drink and asked,

"Is there alcohol in it?"

Addison shook her head, "No, are you still on the pain killers?"

Katie nodded and reached down to rub her calf, "We've been doing therapy and I swear sometimes it's worse than the actual problem."

"Are you still using the leg brace?"

Katie nodded, "One reason why I'm wearing pants instead of a dress."

"You look beautiful." Addison said, trying to cheer her friend up.

It was true; Katie's chestnut tresses fell loose over her shoulders. Her red top accentuated her body and her hazel eyes glittered in the light.

The doorbell rang and Addison rose to get it. She greeted Savvy and Weiss warmly and ushered them into the living room and bar. A second couple, Natalie and Mike, two of Addison's friends were next.

A few more people arrived and the party rose to full swing. Slipping out discretely, Addison went to slip some appetizers in the oven. Mark was standing in there with a double scotch, single malt in his hand.

Addison picked it out of his fingers and set it on the counter, "You, my unbelievably handsome date, are incredibly drunk."

He grabbed her waist and spun her around, pinning her against the kitchen cabinet. He placed his hand in her hair and reached to unhook her clip. She smacked his hand away but didn't make him move, pressing her body into his. She snaked her hands around his neck and wrapped her leg around his thigh.

A woman's voice cleared and Addison heard Katie say, "Get a room Addison."

She released his neck and pushed him off of her reluctantly. Peering over his shoulder she saw Katie smirking as she leaned against the bar, fixing herself a drink.

"I came in here to see if you need help…I guess you're set."

Addison cheeks pinked and she pushed Mark away and handed him his drink, "We'll finish this later." She whispered.

"Heard that." Katie crowed, turning and entering the living room.

Addison quickly stowed the food in the oven and left Mark with his liquor. She stopped to chat with a few people before meeting up with Katie,

"Hey Kat, go play pool with Mark."

She smirked again, "I don't play with drunks."

"Come on, he'll be an easy win."

She shrugged, "Whatever."

Addison grinned as she left, then went in search of Savvy.

"Sav!" She called across the room. The blonde turned and her face lit up,

"Addi, I haven't gotten a chance to talk with you yet."

The two greeted each other and sat down on the couch at the side of the room, chatting late into the evening.

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Addison sighed and sunk into the couch and sighed deeply, glad that the ball had dropped and the party had drawn to a conclusion. Glancing at the clock she saw it was almost three in the morning. A soft jazzy tune played in the background, soothing her.

She heard the clink of glass on the counter and winced, Mark was trying to clean up even though he was still a little disoriented.

She pushed herself up off the couch and shuffled into the kitchen. He was facing the sink, away from her and he didn't notice when she entered the room. Smirking, she strolled up behind him and slipped her hands over his shoulders, swaying slowly to the music.

He turned and slipped his arms around her waist, "Is everyone gone?"

She nodded, eyeing him seductively, "What do you say we finish what we started earlier?"

He didn't need any further encouragement; he turned her to where he'd had her before and pressed her body against the kitchen cabinet. She giggled slightly, something she rarely did, and pushed him away, slipping the tight blue dress over the curves of her body to the floor.

She stood in front of him in black lace panties and matching bra. He looked at her hungrily as she trailed her fingers over his chest, unbuttoning his shirt and finally pushing it to the floor with her dress.

He closed the space between them and slipped his hands around her again. One traveled to her soft locks, tangling fingers in her silky hair.

Addison weaved her leg over the back of his thigh, bracing herself against the counter with one hand and pushing herself up to his midriff. He slipped his hands beneath her thighs and she tightened her grip on his waist.

She pressed lazy kisses over the length of his neck, nipping his jawbone softly. Between kisses she murmured,

"Why don't we…take this…to the bedroom?"

He turned, carrying her still, and lifted her up the stairs. As she traced her fingers over her muscular back her grinned to herself, one thing was for sure, no one in Seattle would have as much fun as she did on New Years Eve.

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**TBC…**


	5. Chapter 4: The Way I Am

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or its characters.

Rating: T

Summary: Addison moved back to New York with Mark when he asked her at the beginning of season 3. Now, close to Christmas Addison makes a dreaded discover.

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Scratch

Chapter 4: The Way I Am

_If you were falling, then I would catch you_

_You need a light, I'd find a match_

_Cuz I love the way you say good morning_

_And you take me the way I am_

_-Ingrid Michaelson_

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As the weeks passed and life seemed to return back to normal, well, normal being lacking in holidays, Addison began to notice slight changes in herself. First was the constant vomiting, she'd begun to wonder why it was called morning sickness. For her it seemed to occur both morning and night.

She hadn't really begun to gain weight, but her pants had begun to feel slightly snug lately. What really seemed to strike her as different were her breasts. They seemed to expand daily, making it more and more difficult to squeeze into her blouses without popping buttons.

That morning, in late January she sat on her bed trying blouse after blouse on to no avail. Fighting with a blue one she eventually pitched it to the corner and sat pouting on her bed. Mark walked over and sat behind her, pulling her on top of him. Kissing her neck and shoulders he questioned,

"What's wrong Addi?"

She squealed as he bit down on her shoulder, and then broke into a fit of laughter. Mark abandoned his effort and watched her lie in the middle of their bed, laughing hysterically. Just a tiny bit scared, he watched as she rolled over on her back, gasping in an effort to catch her breath.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry…" She managed to gasp, setting another gale of laughter loose.

Mark gave her an attempt at a smile, but as she turned away he looked at her warily. This whole thing to do with mood swings sort of freaked him out. She finally managed to get her emotions under control and toned it down to a few intermittent giggles.

"Sorry," She tried again.

Mark gave her a strange look, "Any particular reason for the outburst?"

She seemed to be thinking a moment before saying, "Nope."

He nodded slowly, eyeing her carefully, "You know, you're third month is beginning to freak me out a little."

She looked at him with lips pursed, eyes glinting with laughter. He sighed as she exploded into laughter again, laying on her back and giggling uncontrollably.

He waited for a moment and after realizing the laughter wasn't going to stop he rose and left the room as Addison tried to control herself and call him back into the room.

Addison rolled over onto her stomach and realized that she hadn't solved her problem and she still needed a shirt to wear to work. But as she thought about it, she realized she really couldn't care less.

So she continued laughing.

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Sitting in the car, she'd finally managed to gain total control and merely sat in the passenger seat, grinning like an idiot. Mark glanced at her and said,

"You know…you are really strange."

"Shut up." She said flirtatiously, then, "Pull over in here."

He looked at her like she was crazy, "What?"

"Pull in here," She demanded, "The gas station."

"Ok…" He muttered, turning in swiftly and thinking she had to be sick or something.

She darted out of the car and into the small convenience store, returning with a large bag of Swedish berries. She put her seatbelt back on and popped a red candy in her mouth, chewing slowly and moaning,

"Oh, that's good."

She swallowed then turned and offered him one. Looking at her incredulously he demanded,

"You made me stop to get candy? You made us late to get _candy_?!"

She thought for a moment before saying, "Not just candy…good candy…the best candy."

"Oh, well…in that case." He said sarcastically, but he took a berry anyways and popped it in his mouth as he pulled out of the parking lot.

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Addison slipped her lab coat on and collapsed into a chair at the nurses' station. They shot her disdained glances but she ignored them, she was a world renowned neonatal surgeon she had seniority over the chairs.

Propping herself up on her elbow she scribbled away in files, trying to fill them so she wouldn't have to do it that evening.

A gutsy nurse even had the nerve to come up to her and ask, "You do know this is the ER don't you?"

Addison shot her a dirty look, "I'm not blind."

She leaned back and pulled her glasses out, slipping them onto the bridge of her nose as she studied a file. Someone walked by with a steaming cup of coffee and Addison felt her stomach lurch as the smell wafted towards her.

The nausea was intense and she bolted for a bathroom, slamming a stall door behind her as she bent over the toilet, retching. When she's finished she flushed the toilet and took a moment, leaning against the wall, to compose herself.

She took a few deep breaths as she exited, washed her hands and left the bathroom. She ran into Mark almost immediately. He looked at her with concern and asked,

"Are you ok?" He pressed his hand to her forehead, "You're all clammy."

She rubbed her stomach lazily and nodded, "In case you're wondering, we won't be having coffee in the house anymore."

He gave her a soft smile of sympathy and pulled her in close, kissing her forehead, "I'm sorry you feel so horrible."

She nodded and dryly replied, "Yeah, me too."

Mark ran his fingers through her hair and she closed her eyes briefly, "All I want to do is sleep." She murmured.

"Then why don't you leave?"

She shook her head,

"I've got a few patients to look in on but you should go ahead home, I'll meet you there in a few hours."

"You sure?" He asked.

She nodded and he gave her a quick peck on the cheek, leaving her alone for the evening.

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As Addison arrived home and made her way up to her bedroom, she barely made it before collapsing on the bed.

"What's up?" Mark asked, looking up from the TV guide.

"I don't know if I can do this." She murmured quietly.

He immediately dropped the guide and sat up, "What? What happened?"

"Nothing really…I just, I work with sick babies all the time. What is something's wrong with this one? I mean, I'm not so young myself so the risks are higher. What if something goes wrong?"

"Addison, as long as you have this baby, you'll love it. You'll love this baby whether it's a boy or a girl, disabled or not. It's a part of you and Derek, and I can tell already…you love that baby more than you know."

Addison smiled ruefully and rested her hand over her stomach protectively, "I know…It's just, I'm tired of feeling pregnant. I was seeing a patient today, post op, and I started to get nauseous again. Threw up in her garbage can."

Mark chuckled and pulled Addison up so she was nestled in the crook of his arm, "It'll pass soon, what you are now? 3 months?"

She nodded, "Almost 4."

"Doesn't that all stop around now?"

She shrugged, "It's different for everyone."

She paused before speaking again, "You know, now that I'm almost 4 months the high risk of miscarriage is pretty much over. I could start telling people."

He nodded, "You could do that. You should, it'll be good for you to have people to talk to."

Addison rolled over and grabbed the phone off the hook, punching in an old friend's number.

The phone rang seven times before someone finally picked up, "Hello?"

It wasn't until Addison heard the groggy voice that she realized how late it was, "Miranda? I'm so sorry. Look, I'll call you back in the morning?"

She heard her clear her throat then say, "No, no it's ok. If it's so important you forgot what time it was you better tell me."

"Well, I found something out…"

Miranda Bailey cut her off abruptly, "Look, I said I'd listen, not play games. Tell me what's going on."

"I'm pregnant."

There was silence on the other line, "Miranda? Miranda!"

"I'm still here…pregnant??"

Addison grinned, "Yeah, pregnant."

"Oh girl… when you get yourself into a mix up you get yourself way in. Who's the father?"

"Derek." Addison said quietly.

"Hmm."

"Hmm? What does that mean?" Addison enquired.

"Nothing, nothing…I'm happy for you. Just…"

"Just what?" Addison demanded, her temper starting to rise.

"Nothing. Look, I am happy for you. I'm sure you'll be an excellent mother."

"Thanks." Addison said grudgingly, knowing that Miranda wasn't being entirely sincere.

Changing the subject quickly she asked, "Have you spoken with Izzie yet?"

"No." Miranda said, "She's still staying at home. The others haven't seen her in days. Apparently she spends her entire days holed up in her room or baking."

"Dammit." Addison murmured. "She refuses to come back."

"Mmhmm." Miranda said, yawning widely.

"If there's anything…" Addison began.

"Addison, there's nothing you can do. It's her decision. She'll come back when she's ready."

Addison fueled herself to argue but Miranda cut her off, "I'm sorry, but could we talk later? I need to get up in two hours and I'd like to be asleep before then."

Addison grinned, "Sure, Goodnight."

She set the phone back in the cradle and inched her way up to the pillow, resting her head on it and sighing.

Mark pulled her into the curve of his body and wrapped his arm around her waist. He pushed the material of her shirt upwards and exposed her belly. She looked down and smiled softly at the smooth curve forming there.

She put her hand on top of his and closed her eyes, praying that she wouldn't be woken up at midnight and that for the first time in a month she'd be able to get a decent sleep.

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**TBC…**


End file.
